so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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