he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
