just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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