i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
