go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
