This is not my ceiling
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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