Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
