If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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