I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
