i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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