why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
