ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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