you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
