My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
