Don't you send me to vm
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
