8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
