i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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