Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize