Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
