He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
send nudes
from the living room?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
