The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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