Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
