Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
