I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
