just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
