I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
