I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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