Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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