That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
