I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
