Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm both gender and math confused
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
