i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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