Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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