I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
