There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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