I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
