I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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