Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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