I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
