how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
