She's JV to your varsity
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
