he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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