After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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