Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize