I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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