you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They took my balls.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
