The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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