dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
