there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I could fuck to npr.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
