sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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