Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We left the knife in your bed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
