I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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