I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
