Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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