first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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