Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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