Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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