i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He better not be in your backpack
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
