Your tits are I can't wait for
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
