We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize