woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
