that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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