I think I died a long time ago.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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