I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize