He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
