my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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