I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
