why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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