I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
