It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
