Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
