There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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